Saturday night in the end of September

So, I'm here, sitting relaxed in my room(I refuse to call it an appartment, I share a bathroom, and everything is tiny...), having a big cup of tea and a much needed cigarett, content and pleased with the way this particular day went along. It's been a good one, the kind that makes you smile that little secret smile, the one you catch yourself making when you're all alone and doing something you normally find boring. The one where you close your eyes for a short while, allowing your mind to drift and remember, all the reasons for that strange smile. I think they are a short way from kicking down my door and revoking my cynicslicence just about now. And they might very well be in the right to do so.

I'm listening to George Carlin, something everyone should do a lot more often. Bill Hicks is another great option, in a society where we seem to give a bigger fuck about the world, and everything in it, for every day that pass us by, we need these voices more than ever. Whenever I listen to Bill Hicks talk about the first gulfwar, under Bush 1.0, it sends a painful chill down my spine, and then a sad feeling, something along the lines of "Bill, I'm glad you did not have to see the days of Bush 2.0, if you had still been around, this one would have put you in the ground for sure. And while we're talking, we miss you very much." These guys did a lot more than just stand up comedy, they looked at our society and asked questions, which of course got them censored. Yes, that's right, censorship is still here folks, we just stopped taking notice, or caring, I don't even know which one anymore. The enviroment is getting screwed (I'm working on a column on this subject, but that's for tomorrow), there's war raging lots of places now, a few of them are even awknowlaged by the evil empire itself, and the average Joe/Joanna just choses to keep walking, eyes closed, assuming everything will get better, anyday now, anyday. I DON'T THINK SO.

There's that old New York joke about how long a person can lie unconcius on the street before someone admits to seeing it and doing something to help, something along a week I think... You must have heard it at some point. Well, welcome to the brave new world people, because that's where we're all at right fucking now. "Uhoh, the world seems to be kinda...going to hell, and what's this strange weather all about?" This is a question we should be asking ourselves right about now. But no such luck... The news are listing deathtolls again, buissniss as usual, just keep walking, if your not looking straight at it, it's not your problem. Avoid eyecontact, for the love of god, avoid eyecontact, as long as you keep looking straight foreward, or slightly inward, we're all still safe. There's not a problem if you don't admit there is one, like with addicts in fact, the first thing they learn; awknowlege you have a problem. It's the first fucking step, nothing can be done before that one is off the table, and without it? You're going nowhere slow. Or straight into a global scale disaster, now doesn't that sounds fun? I hope so, because we're all going, there's no getting off this train, there's no earth 2.0 out there, nowhere to run folks, so buckle your seatbelt, at least we're in for one hell of a ride...

Miramuffins says: Go out and have some fun, be kind and patient, but keep your eyes open at all times. The world is still a really great place, so see it before it's to late. It's a Saturday so lots of you will be out and about, take care and enjoy yourself, and you might benefit from reading my eleven step guide to drinking, just a few tips.
Goodnight, good luck, love life.

This just in:

This morning I woke up smiling. Which of course is great, I'm not really a morning person, not that I'm bitchy in the morning or anything, I'm just quiet and a little glum usually, so today was diffrent. I've been kinda happy recently, and that is great, but also a little scary, because I'm a grown up and happiness tends to make us a little suspicious, like something horrible is going to happen at any moment, as if happiness is a punishable offence. I don't think it is but I'm not trusting the feeling, (or myself for that matter) at the moment. But still I'm living it, and not shying away into hiding, so far so good. Moment by moment, a day, an hour, a breath at a time. It might not last but that's a worry for another day, today I intend to be childisly happy and giddy, smiling at memories at strange times, all while listening to the sweetest songs I know.

But of course there's the issue of writing, my best work is done when I'm angry, depressed, disconnected or all of the above. Not when I'm sitting in front of my computer, listening to Green Day's "Time of your life" while grinning. But hey, let's give it a shot anyway.
Today's subject, norwegian newspapers. Two years ago, I was sitting with a group of friends, and in a coffeefuled rage I mouthed off a bit and said that I would not buy another norwegian newspaper until they started putting real news on the front page again. I have bought less than ten newspapers since! For some reason (I blame the marketing department, there's a special circle in hell just for you people...) there's only four types of news that make it to the front page in this strange country nowadays. Sexrelated news. Realitytv/entertainment/clebrity oriented "news". Consumeroriented news. And of course, sports. So the perfect headline would go something like this: "Pornstar joins cast of a soccerreality, how you update to get the best webaction!" Of course they would have to short it down, and add some "fun" puns ("bigger balls..." You get the idea.), but it seems to be the dream nowadays. (Of course violence still sells to, and I find this more acceptable for some strange, morbid reason.)

The perfect story.
So a couple of years ago there was this incident that the media somehow didn't really manage to pick up on, I was browsing the web, hunting down a newsstory that just became stranger the more bits of information I picked up. Here's a short summary. A norwegian soft porn actress/"popstar"(fucking wannabees, they're everywhere...) had been at a bar. Her exboyfriend had arrived, drunk and agitated, this of course is not news, this happens every single day, with a lot of scary concequences, but I havent really gotten to the good bit yet. This particulare exboyfriend happend to be a cop, and this drunk and agitated cop has his police issued gun with him to the bar, loaded, no less. So now we have a big titted blonde porn/pop "star" with a craving for attention, and a loaded cop, waving his also loaded gun, all this is happending in one of the hipper clubs in our capitol. Can you hear the entire newsdesk gasping for air yet? Unfortunatly this happend during summer, and summer is even worse than the rest of the year in the norwegian newsbuisniss, we all have a long summer holiday here, so everything slows down, and nobody put all the bits together. Some papers only got the druk cop angle, som only the pornstar in distress angle. To bad really, the whole story, put together on a front page might have been one of the signs of the appocalypse, but man what fun it would have been.

This, in short, is the reason I have been forced to read all my papers in cafe's lately(they're a drug, I'm addicted, but I'm not paying for the four pages I actually enjoy, no way), the only one I buy is the "le Monde Diplomatique", it comes out once a month, has gruelingly lenghty article, and sports a few pictures of artwork. Granted, it is seriously argues, and it takes a few days to get all the way through, but there's not a pornstar to bee seen and it's filled with forreign news that actually matter. And by the way, newspapersales in Norway are dropping by the day, so there you go. I'm right, they're wrong, and all is right with the world again;)

Miramuffin says: Go out and have some fun, annoy some people and be nice to something small and furry. Love life, live in the moment and don't worry to much, worrying seldom changes anything anyway. Have a great day.

You can't escape change

Whenever something comes along and drastically changes your life it's painful, I don't know if it's the change itself, or the fear of everything unknown, but it always hurts, in one way or another. We all go through these stages, some are the changes that comes naturally with age and maturity, like leaving home, and making choices for your future life, some are more individual and different, like what choices you do make for your future life. And there's the choices others make for you, that changes your life just the same. There's the first love you experience, and the end of it, the first time someone close to you dies, the first time you get a job, and the first time you lose one. All these moments changes your life, as well as how you percive yourself, and therebye who you are.

Even the most normal life will push you around and bruise you at times. And most of us don't lead "normal" lives, most of us are bound to take a serious beating by life at times, and carry the scars around with us forever. There's the scars you get as a kid, both the ones at your knees and the ones on your hart and soul, maybe you were bullied, maybe your parents wasn't great with kids, or maybe you didn't have anyone at all. Maybe you were lonely and scared, or bad things happened. Time fixes lot's of things, or at least makes them hurt a lot less, but somewhere inside you're still that kid that ate your lunch alone and just wished to be invisible. Fortunately, when you're a kid you still have that assurence that it will get easier, that belief dosen't really fade untill you're at least in your twenties, then you realize nobody's got it all together, that faith truly is blind, and that bad things can happen to anyone, at anytime. And you get burned by love, betrayed by friends and sometimes, it seems, really screwed over by life itself, and you grow to realize that beeing alive can a very painful thing, for everyone.

But thankfully there's more to it, thankfully there's the other side of things, the good one. There's love for once, thats's a big one, in all it's forms, friends, family, lovers, and all the other ones that sticks around for a while, or for a lifetime. Some might leave, some you might lose, but what you had is no less valuable, even when it hurts the most. Because one day, with a little luck, you will be able to look back with fondness, on the memories you made, and in the end that's all we've got. There's the adventure of doing something new for the first time, of seeing someplace you've never been before, meeting people and learning new skills, exploring the world and everything in it. It's the sunrise that's just perfect, it's that last night out with a friend that's leaving town, when you're sad and happy at the same time, and all the things that you'll remember, always. That's some of the things that makes life so very much worth living, and now I'm not even including all the tiny blessings that everyday life can be filled with if you only pause and take time to notice them.

The fact that life is always changing is both a blessing and a curse, when you are truly happy it's often hard to forget that it will not last forever, when you are brokenharted it's often hard to remember that it will not last forever. You can't predict life, how hard you might try, there's just no safe cards to play, you can't run and you can't hide. So why not stop trying?
I decided long ago to stop letting fear of change control me, granted, I'm not always that successful at it, but all one really needs to do is try. And of course I'm still just as scared as anyone, in fact I'm often horrified. Of beeing hurt yet again, of all that's unfamiliar, of failing and not beeing good enough. My private demons are still screaming in the back of my head at times(metaphorically speaking that is), I am still very much afraid, but I have stopped listening to that particular part of myself, because hiding dosen't help at all. The world will always find you, and the price you pay, for protection through solitude, is a high one when things take a bad turn. So try to face your fears, and venture out into the world, I can promise you pain, but I can promise you happiness as well. Remember that there are no constant things in life(besides death, taxes and a few mathematical formulas), happiness comes as an uneven string of moments and events, cherish your days, don't forget that you never know how many of them you have left until they run out. When your nuber is up, what are you most likely to regret, things you did, or everything you let fear keep you from doing?
It's your life, only you can live it.

Yes, I'm having a strange evening, I'll be back in to my more witty and lightharted self in a couple of days I assume, until then I suggest you listen, for a while, to Tom McRae's "For the restless", and do something that makes you feel good. I'm gonna go to bed, read a bit of Douglas Coupland, and then hopefully sleep for a while.
Miramuffin says Goodnight and good luck.

Saturday morning

Yess, it's Saturday, an I'm out of my mind... No, just kidding, I'm very ok at the moment, almost, dare I say it...? Happy. I'm working again, taking care of the elderly, a nice job actually, the pay is far from great(or even resonable) but my colleagues are really cool and the work is quite rewarding. It's nice feeling like a grown up again, the income doesn't hurt eighter...
I'm sitting in my room listening to music and drinking coffee, having a very happy day, but I'm also a little nervous, going to a party tonight that I actually care about, it's been a while since that was the case. But it's a nice feeling, like I have become less frozen, without having noticed that I was ever frozen in the first place. Life is cool that way sometimes, butterflies, blueskies and cottoncandycool. But there's also that scary thing about what a brittle thing happiness is, one can not call oneself a grownup without beeing in the know about this, I think it's some kind of law, and if it's not, it shoud be. So legislate. Kidding. And if you didn't get that one, well, then you must be a lawyer, and this is the least of your problem. See? Now I'm kidding again, get it? If not, just keep reading my blog, it will take some time, and some hard work on my part, but we'll get there, don't worry. And you could also check out the page I'm linking to, quizlaw, who said laws must be boring? This guy is very smart, and very funny, so hit the ground running and link on, bloggers of the world unite(ok, I'm smirking a little over that sentence myself, but I'm not taking it out, and you can't make me, my blog, my dictatorship, hah!).

Oh, actually listening to Tom Jones now, with the intro of Johnny Depp an Benicio delToro(I doubt my spelling here...), it's just one of those days... "She's a lady" is nice, but god how I love "It's not unusual" right now, such fun, and of course there's Mars Attacs, Tom Jones will never be the same, strange images in my head... And if you haven't heard of Mars attacs, shame on you, get to the videostore, right now. What was I planning for this column to be about again... My attentionspan is far from great I'm afraid. Aha, about life beeing kinda ok.
You know when you sometimes feel like you have just opened your eyes and discovered that the world is a very beautiful place? That feeling can be induced, you just have to try. So go on people, go outside, look for the thousands of things that makes you smile, and you will find that they are all still there, you just have to aknowlege them. Look at the birdies, the trees felling their leafes, all orange and nice, at least they are in my hemisphere, if you're somewhere else I'm sure you can still find something. So enjoy.
And don't forget, Live to love, cause love is life.

Miramuffin wishes you all a very nice day and a fun evening.

From the diary...

I've been up all night again. My insomnia seems to be getting worse, and nothing, short off sleeping pills, works. And sleeping pills make me totally drowsy the next day so I can't take them if I am going to get anything done. Great, the miracles of modern medisin.
But anyway, exept that I look like I've been on the redeye, and that my eyes are itching like crazy, I feel fine. Ok, that's not true, I feel really strange actually, it's like there is a whole world out there, reserved for the sleepdeprived, a strange hostile place, a place that makes you jump at sudden noices and want to curl up in a dark corner. But it also makes you feel strangely smart in a scary way. It's like the senses become heightened, eyesight feels clearer, sounds louder, even smells seem to become more distinct. And your brain seems to kick into a diffrent, more fastpaced, gear. Are you scared yet? This effect wears off after a certain amount of time, in my case about thirtysix hours, and then I turn into something resembling the living dead. But until then, I'm very much awake, and a little bit manic. I sometimes wonder what this does to my body, and I try to take some precautions, eating healthy and doing some yoga mainly. Ok, fine, I drink coffee. It keeps me sane, and you will have to wrench the cup from my cold, dead hands if you want me to stop.

Today I have a few small and nice things to do, I'm starting work tomorrow, so today is my last day as a deadbeat, wops, I mean full time student. As if. I'm a terrible student, mainly because studying litterature in this country has become a very futile activity. Analyse. Write. Repeat. Over and over again. I swear, I'm toying with the idea of turning in the same paper over and over, just changing the names as I go. Present day I would probably get away with it, and it can't possibly be less fulfilling than doing a marginally diffrent job over and over. Hmm, this subject always make me...bitey. And it's a word if I say it is, HAH.
Ehem, I digress... Today: Visiting a girlfriend and the puppy she's dogsitting for today, I'm so looking foreward to it, nothing makes humans happier than a puppy. For about half an hour at least, after that you realize they have a lot more energy than you. But still, Puppy! Happy!
Later, maybe some cardgames, or chess with my brother, some light reading, and some slightly heavier writing, fun! What a glamourous life I lead. Well, I was at a pretty serious afterparty this weekend, champagne was involved, so really, I have nothing to complain about;)
Miramuffin says: Have fun, go wild, love life, it's the way to go.

9/11

It's the 11. of September again. A day that five years ago started like any other,a day that I, and so many others have come to remember it like it was yesterday. I'm not going to write about all the stuff that makes up the aftermath, this is a day for quiet remembrence, not for anger.
I had been at school, the day before had been election day here in Norway so I had stayed up all night with a friend watching the resaults come in. We were drinking wine an saw, to our horror, the right side win the elections. As you can imagen the next day was a hard one. So I had been at school, I stepped out early, tired and in a glum mood I dropped by another friend, we vere having a small meal(I can even remember what I ate but I won't bore you with the details) and were watching cartoons. I get a text message about a plane crashing into a skyscraper in virtually the same moment as text began flowing across the top of the tvscreen. Extra news in one minute. This never happens. Five minutes yes, ten minytes yes, but one? That's unheard of. The news comes on, the room is so quiet, a pin dropping would have startled us. I watched plane number two going in live. For hours we just watched, quietly worrying about who's responsible, what the concequenses would be. We followed the missing planes, switching between channels seeking the clearest information, and we watched the world change straight in front of us. And most of all, we watched as out generations great tragedy unfolded before our eyes.

Today is for rememberence. Remember those whom lost their lives, and all those whom lost loved ones, the heroes of 9/11, known as well as unknown, the New York fire department, and the New York police department. Let anger and frustrations rest today, and honour all those who was silenced on that terrible day, by taking a quiet moment to remember.

Yes, I'm fuckin political

So, a new day is looming before me, a Saturday, a big scary day whom I have every intention of just letting pass me by. I have just finished one of my small projects, as beforementioned I'm a member of an internet society, I have a profile, and on this I every day write an end of the world segment. Now isn't that a charming hobby? I write these small scenarios, and as I have written about forty of them I find myself becoming more and more political. In a charming, we're screwed, and I'm really mad about it kind of way... Yes, it can be slightly depressing or enraging, depends on the day one is having. Today I wrote about concequences, a fun little concept, given way to little attention in todays society, because they're getting bigger(worse) every single day. War against terror, or for democracy, or about oil, or against weapons of mass destruction, (what's todays excuse I wonder?) is a good example. I know history is written by the winners but hey Georgieboy, it's not enough that you and your daddys buddys says it's so, the other side seem to be disagreeing. Ok, you won an election that way, but thats a story for another day, my bloodpressure is high enough as it is. Iraq is stil on fire, Afghanistan has turned into a fucking mess and the world is getting scarier by the day, not to mention what's happending to the enviroment. And I loved the nice little speach about secret prisons and "the progress" they have brought. What fucking progress? One would think that if you have avoided terror this way we would know avout it, it's not as if you would not suck every drop of good press out of the smallest nugget of "progress". But it's been quiet, and why is it not seen as neccecary to hold trials against "the bad people" held in such places as Guantanamo? You don't expect us to take your word for it do you? Because your word dosn't hold much weight out here in "the rest of the world". Or anywhere else by now I guess. And a problem arises here, when one is going to make a serious mess, one is usually forced to face the concequences(god, I just love that sentence, very eightees actionflick oriented). Not gonna happen anytime soon you say? Ok, you're right, we can't fight you in any real way at present day, but on your next little scirmish for "democracy" you might find yourself a little lonely. But back on que, I had a plan for this column, now where did i put it... Oh yes, the enviroment. The man Georgieboy stole an election from has started a crusade of his own, a long and losing(I guarantee it) battle against a terrifying opponent. Yes, Al Gore is travelling the world to show his movie about global warming. The world is going straight to hell and the evil empire won't even look at the Kyoto agreement, it's not for us, we don't belive in concequences, we belive in God and he will keep us safe. To bad ignorance isn't included among the seven deadly sins. "No, these storms are NORMAL, ok, so some ice is melting, the weather seems to have gone insane, but hey, it's nice and warm isn't it?" Guess what, so is you're beloved hell. And I guess it will be snowing there before you open your eyes to what is happening. In the meen time the rest of us should just bunker down I guess, buy some lifejackets, build some rafts and such. Maybe an ark come to think of it.
A new day is coming, a day when the enviroment will rage against what we have done, and with a little luck, the people driving hummers and SUV's will be first in line to pay the price. Who am I kidding, the poor will be the first to suffer, same as always, the unfortunate will become even more unfortunate while the wealthy will move to higher areas, arrange for security to keep the hungry masses out, and profit from selling elevated areas of land to the highest bidder. Man, this new world order sucks. But still the concequences are coming, so be afraid, be very afraid.
Or do what I do, just observe, observe and learn. Cause knowlege is progress. And I seem to have accidentally explained the strangeness of the American education system(in Europe the idea of needing to have a lot of money to get an education seems strange, we don't like to look at knowlege as something to be bought by the people with the most money).
Ok, I am calmer now then when I started writing but I'm still angry. Think I will listen to some Ryan Adams now, wishing I had a bottle of nice red, and that the world would be a pretty and safe place. Well at least it's still kinda pretty, so go outside, look at the birds and the bugs inn the grass, and think for a bit, about the fact that we share this world with a lot of other creatures, creatures that are just barely getting by today. And if Georgieboy want to make a less tastless and ignorant refrence to Hitler and nazigermany, he need not look very far. A holocaust is already happending, to anything not human.
Miramuffin says Goodnight and good luck.

About Beauty

Some say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I guess that might be one of the truest statements ever made. For the individual peson beauty is a deeply personal thing, a preference developed as we age, and change as humanbeeings. But then again, what builds this image, how is our idea of beauty formed? Well, this is where the story gets ugly. The image of beauty beeing created by media and culture today is a very interesting one, scary at times, but interesting. So you're thin, great, now you need tits and ass too of course. Waist like a five year old, tits like a new mom, and ass like the stairmaster is your closest friend. Is this so hard to understand? Not really, this is a parody created by medias everpresent hunger for Bigger Better Things! and unfortunatly it's not exacly humanly possible without a little slice and dice. Girls are saving their pocket money to get their tits stuffed with silicone, great, then we can finally achive the goal of eating two crackers and a bite of sellery a day, without getting that unfortunate "fourteen year old boy"-figure. Yeeha, finally I can starve myself into a stickfigure with knockers, one small step for me one giant fuckings tragedy for mankind. Beauty is suffering for millions today, the race for the perfect body is a cruel one, for every party involved.
I am thin, and I have met people whom have hated me for it. Great, I'm thin, terefore it's completly accepted to rudly comment my body, tell me I'm to skinny and spread rumors about me beeing anorexic. That's just amazeing, thank you very fuckings much, I hope it made you feel great, you clearly needed some form of confidence boost, and by the way, it made me feel pretty bad. And chill people, I have always had difficulties packing weight on, our metabolisms works in a lot of diffrent ways, mine is pretty active, nature works in mysterious ways.
I am guilty of a great crime, I actually like my body, it's not perfect but it works and it dosen't let me down, it carries me around and complains very little. But this is a sin, I am supposed to be miserable, reading tips for dieting in EVERY magasine ment for women(it's all over the place, seriously, you can't escape) and worrying about cellulites from I wake up till I go to bed. I will not. Repeat after me: I WILL NOT! You should of course keep your body healthy and happy, but insane dieting and silicone is not the way to go, this will do damage to your health just as great as beeing really overweight will. Think about this for a minute, your body is the single greatest thing ever, we have yet to invent anything that comes even close to resembling this cool and complicated consept. The movement of a hand is to complexe to be replicated by robots for a long time still, and that's just a hand. This is amazeing, and it's free and long lasting! If you take care of it that is, today abusing the body is almost getting mandatory. Ok, it's been bad before to, aspeccially the female body have been tortured to fit into all kinds of strange ideals up through time but it's getting really bad again. We must be skinny, we must have tits, great hair(to much dieting induces hairloss..), a golden hairless body, clear shiny eyes, healthy glowing skin and slightly defined muscles in the leg area. Yes, now where did I place my book of magic spells... Because this is not physically possible! Surgically possible, yes, beauty can be bought, for a reasonable price you can take away those pesky wrinkles, you can be twentyfour forever and ever, every little girls dream, you can finally be Barbie, in the flesh. And yes, some women chose to blame men for this happenstance, but I think this is wrong, the beauty industry is to blame. There's a lot of money in making people feel unsecure, a grotesque amount of money in fact. And never forget this, it's ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. They have not invented another "miracle creme" to be nice and give you everlasting youth, they have done this to make you hand over your cold hard cash. And if they ever invent one that actually works..? Would it be any point in selling it and killing such a large and easy market? I don't think so... Most guys seem to be a little indiffrent to this strange system (why is the bathroom stuffed with junk, where can I place my aftershave?). And almost all of them seem to find a lot of varietys of the female body as, well..... Christmas and new year spent at an amusement park. Think about that the next time you put your back out while trying to check your booty for cellulites in the bathroom mirror. Love and cherish your body, it will reward you, and last longer that way.

The magic of days in the week

So... Today it's monday, if it's a manic one is yet to bee seen but hey, I just got out of bed very late(in other words, I'm not removing any stupid jokes...) and it's raining outside. This is typical for a Monday, the most sluggish of all the days. Monday is for crawling back to work, and then going home to eat some quick fix dinner and watch tv.
Tuesday's gone, no actually it's still here, we just seldom notice them in passing, another hurdle early on in the week, boring day most of the time, tired from monday, still a long way to go before the weekend.
Wednesday, Wednsday morning 3am, no wait, if you're awake it still feels like Tuesday... Wednesdays are sweet, a midweek celebration that the weekend is drawing close is called for, Wednesday is for slacking of at work and going out for a drink and some tapas, of course this sometomes takes it's toll on thursday...
Thursday's child, now thats what I am, born waiting for a Friday... Thursdays are the day directly after wednesday, the one when you're hung over at work and everyone is trying to get some stuff done so they can spend friday bored and restless, and take a long lunch. Thursday you are likely to go home tired, eating something simple and falling asleep watching tv. Now doesn't that sound fun?
Friday, Friday on my mind... Now this is a good day, work on friday isn't real work, people are just milling around trying to look busy so that nobody asks them to do anything. Friday is the home of the long lunch and frequent breaks spent chatting with colleagues about plans for the weekend. Then it's out living it up, having fun for long hours before you go home and fall into bed exhausted.
Saturday morning, it's a little creepy sometimes, a little sick from the night before, a little stressed about what to do tonight. Saturday night's alright, but not really for fighting... Saturdays are scary bechause it's the top of the week, it kinda have to work, something fun and exiting have to happen, and it's hell for the controlfreaks out there. So many moving parts, so fluid and unpredictable... Here's a little pice of advice, take it easy, make some casual plans with friends and let the day flow by on it's own, this has, in my experience, a way of making Saturdays getting into gear quite effortlessly.
Sunday, we don't celebrate Sundays. I sure don't at least, Sunday is the home of massive hang overs, guilty feelings about how you've spent your week, often with emphesis on Saturaday night and existential doubts about the choices made in life. Of course it's also the home of take out dinners, movies with friends and spending extra hours in bed. Also, you have to consider that you're going back to work on monday, never a happy thought, but hey, you're ideas about moving to the countryside and running a small ecologic farm involves a lot more physical work in the real world than it does in your head. So go to bed early, get up and go to work Monday, I know it sucks but to live you have to make money, ok?

So, no real work done today, but at least I'm writing. Today I'm linking to my first love in the blogging world, the girls at go fug yourself deserves a big audience so click the headline, and go waste some time, I know you want to. Have a great Monday, if thats even possible.
Hugzes;)

Just another ordinary day

So, I'm sitting here, midnight just passed me by and I can't sleep. Nothing new there, insomnia's always been a friend of mine, so to speak. Listening to Springsteen when you're alone and it's late probably isn't the best idea but right now I don't really care. Yesterday I ventured out with a bad feeling, this usually subsides after a beer or two and some mildly interesting conversation, but not yesterday. It was like I just woke up in a world that still sleeps, thousends of people out drinking, none of them really knowing why, just casually sosializing over a few, ore more, beers, maybe looking for a special someone, ore someone not so special at all. Ouch, just got into "Linda let me be the one", and suddenly remembered Bruce is getting divorced, yikes that was unplesant. Must change music... Back on point, we're all going out, never really asking ourself why, just for fun is probably the best answer out there. So what about that point when it's just not fun anymore? Guess I reached that point yesterday, I had one beer, the place was packed with people, some I knew, some I didn't and suddenly none of it seemed to matter. I had to get out, not a panicattac, chill people, it did in no way get that bad. I just felt totally isolated, the world suddenly went completly meaningless, people kept milling around bumping into eachother(and me I might add), the music was loud and familiar, I was even in my present favourite bar, home to many fun and happy moments, and still, I had to leave. Out on the street there was people everywhere, I felt obliged to say hi to a few friends, completely on autopilot by this point, every conversation felt rehersed and I found myself strangely fascinated by the feeling. How many of us is out there just going through the motions, not really present in our lives any more? This is what I was thinking about as I made my way to the 7/11 for some rations, spending a saturday night home alone is a little scary, so some comfort food felt neccesary. Drunken people where roaming around everywhere, how drunk do you have to be to whistle after someone, ore yelling "great ass"? I guess I shoud ask someday, now that woud be a conversation. But not one for yesterdays mood so I just shot a couple of meanspirited looks and went on my way, the 7/11 was hell of course, but compared to the way over it was relaxing. God I pity the clerks, everyone of them gets the same glazed look after a while, the patented "going to that quiet place inside" look. No wonder, feeding the drunk really is no walk in the park. I got my stuff and started on my way home, trying to take the road least travelled, unfortunately this seemed to encourage faith to mess with my head. I pass by ONE bar on this route, a old favourite of mine, so I turned to take a look to see if it's got a crowd this night. And who else do I see than the guy who broke my hart, kissing some girl up against the wall. Amazeing, when exacly did my life turn into some country and western tune!? Is this in any way a normale way for the world to behave? For something like three seconds I just stood there staring, actually considering walking over to say hello, just to see if it would fuck up his night. (Probably not by the way, he's a clever one, the kind whom introduces you as "an old friend of mine".) Of course I didn't, I turned around and kept walking home, not even bothering to change into the comfortable shoes I carry in my purse the nights I go out in heels. It's a while to walk and I'm very greatful I've got my beloved Ipod on me at all times, music might not save a drowning night but it sure dosen't hurt. When I finally arrived at home I was really angry and very tired but I still sat down and wrote for a while(I promised you stuff about writing now didn't I..), I got to full pages before I decided I was way to tired, and went to bed. Today I woke up very late, after a rare night of heavy sleep and just went about my buissniss as usual. It's sunday so that's not very much, relaxing and heckling my beloved neighbours, watching some trash tv too of course(we finally got our Norwegian version of unanonymus, it's pure evil tv and I'm seriously hooked already...). I finally caved in and read the stuff I wrote yesterday and to my total surprise it's probably the best work I've ever done. Huh. I'm a little befuddled by this... Misrable, tired, angre and a bit depressed I have somehow managed to come up with my best pages yet? Fuck! Does this mean I have to be miserable from now on? Damn, writing is far more complicated than I care for it to be.

Oki, not very useful column today, I know. And hah! I don't care, I had fun writing it. I'm adding a totally unrelevant link to this because I can't, for some reason, make the links appear on the side of my blog. The link is to one of my favourite blogs, the one whom made me decide to get my own, the guy writing it is brilliant. So enjoy.

Love is life people, and don't ever forget it.
Miramuffin says good night and good luck.

Humanity sucks...

This is just another ordinary day, feeling a little disconnected with the world as I woke up, but that's normal these days. So after some surfing I have some coffee with a neighbour, still a peaceful and cosy day, so , I go back to surfing and i find this site; Getrevengeonyourex.com. Don't ask how I found it, it's kinda about that whole feeling of beeing disconnected. Here is this guy, dumped after an his wife cheated back in 2000, whom has dedicated his life to his, and others, revenge. Now isn't that cute, he sells(I assume, there's NO way I'm registrating to this particulare site) "revengekits", nasty phonecalls, messages, mail, the whole revengefantasy. And you can register your ex in his "hall og shame". I read one of these "profiles" and it actually made me feel sick, sick and ashamed on behalf of the human race. To sum it up, the message was, "shes a big, fat, ugly slut". How fucking original, it's like highscool, so adorable, now if I coud only stop myself from throwing up a little in my mouth... Seriously! Get a grip man! I mean, you have spent six years beeing angry, you better be making some serious cash off this, or you are the saddest thing I have ever seen. What's the problem you ask?
Well, first off, if you have been mistreated(and who hasn't) is really the best solution beeing the bigger idiot? Cheating is wrong, no doubt about that, but if your best option to handling the situation is trying to shame your ex online, well, you have problems. Yes, wanting to get back is normal, don't get me wrong, at somepoint I, to, have been wanting to light someones house on fire and order junk of the net in their name... But it's fantasy, nothing more and nothing less, and yes, it can be very healthy, as long as you keep it to the fantasy. If you feel a need to do something real, a well rehearsed conversation picking your ex apart is as far as one shoud go. Because how can you despise and hate someone for the evil stuff they have done and then turn right around beeing as big a jerk? And don't forget the circular effects of revenge, an eye, for an eye for and eye and so on. Before you know it we're all blind and stumbeling around still stabbing. So just don't people, move on with your life, don't let the bastards get you down, actually, forgetting someone might be the best revenge out there. Like a big neon sign saying "You don't matter!". And please don't enter that site if you're angry at your last big thing, I am not going to be responsible for your tragic fall into pathetic behavioral patterns, ok?
Be the better person, live your life and let the bad stuff go, it's a winner in the long run.
Now I have to go to the bank, so there goes the rest of my faith in the world...