Places you don't want to be(but they seemed like such good ideas)
This is a slightly pointless one, I will admit to that up front so that all you "serious people" can get on with your buissniss and leave me alone. But here we go, a small list of places you do not want to be.
The post office.
This is an easy one, there's lots of people milling about, everyone with the same look of "what am I doing here again, why is this place so crowded, and how can I find some excuse, any excuse, to get the hell out of here and come back later, when, in my imagenation, there will be less people presant?" Hah. Never going to happen, the post office is a horrible place to be even if it's empty, the less customers, the less people handeling the customers. If you're alone in the post office I would not be surprised that you are totally alone, no cashier, no clerks, just you, milling about on your own, trying to remember why you are there in the first place. And thats another thing, you know how it is, you always wait until you really have to go to the postoffice, and then you have severale things to do there. Stamps, mailing stuff, buying envolopes, trying to get travellerschecks(you're crazy, get a visa, soon as possible), and maybe actually send a letter. Who does that anymore? I mean, you have the boxes, even if you're of the lonely bunch not mailing over the web. But still, you're there, the people around you look scared and tired, everyone is (I'm assuming now, I know) sober, and forced to do that akward social ritual, consisting of avoiding eyecontact and bumping into other people. And that's if you have the nuber system, god forbid you have to get in line, then there's that magical twenty centimeter clearing between people rule to remember, and the fact that the person behind you always seem not to have picked up on this. Fun. Also the service sometimes is really frightening, it's like they hate you, probably because you have the option of leaving, and they don't.
The bank.
This is a horrible one, the only people whom enjoy going to the bank are the ones who laugh all the way there, and nicely said, I'm not one of them. Statistically speaking, neighter are you.
So when we are going to the bank, we're not happy campers. Today going to the bank usually involves that somethong has gone wrong, we pay our bills on line(thank you so very much for that), and try to keep it simple. But then something go wrong, or you need a lone, horrible as that may be, and you have to go to the bank. And you know that they know everything about you, these people can see how you spend your money, and that's usually a not all that pleasing feeling. And of course there's that pesky social situation, much like the postal office.
Inside a car, with the wrong company.
Yes, this one sounds strange dosen't it? Well, try to be in the backseat of a car, having the joy of observing the couple in the front arguing hotly. Screaming at each other, while spicing it up with those charming, very personal, and often quite surprising, insults. Fun! Who knew... Then of course, you could find yourself beeing involved in a carargument, this is even worse, you can't leave, there's just nowhere to go, no possibility of escape. Well, besides from actually throwing yourself out of a moving veacle, not recomendable, dangerous, and in some cases, more painful than staying in the car. There's also that nice moment when you discover that the driver is paying far more attention to the argument than the road, ones position on it, other cars and unfortunate people. Sounds like a good enough reason to take the bus, or does'nt it...?
The bus!
Yes, the bus is a scary place, it's also a good place to observe some human behavioralpatterns.
For instance, did you know that right handed people have a tendency of sitting on the left side of the bus? This is why the left side of the bus fills up first, until a certain event accurs, this event is known as the "oh no, I'm not sitting next to someone" event. Every seat of a norwegian bus(if everyone on the bus are strangers to each other) sports one person(even the "deathseats", ajoining the doors), until this has happend, no one is sitting next to each other. If there is one empty double seat, that's where you are going, you might have shoppingbags, packages, anything, you're still going towards that empty seat all the way in the back. We like our space. But then there's the creepy times when you have to sit next to someone, and we have all had the "please don't be a crazy person, please don't talk to me, please just sit as far away as possible and leave me alone" moment. The "thank god I have an Ipod and a magazine, haha, I'm cut off from the world" moment. Such a beautiful thing. And that's just if everything is normal, you have all those scary things also. Like the perfect stranger that, for no reason what so ever, sits down next to you in an almost empty bus. Now that's creepy. And you are staring out the window, knowing that this person is sitting next to you, and that there's a really big chance it's going to want to talk to you. Or mumle angrily to itself, wich is no less frightening. This is when you do that quickreasoning thing "it's not that far, I could do the pingthingy, walk the rest of the way, I'll be late, but hey, it's worth it, better than staying here, confronted with clearly crazy stranger."
Ping! Because that's just how scared we are of eachother and the unknown.
Miramuffin says: Yes, it's a pointless exercice in my strange form of humor, but hey, I need to write, and this is a form of practice. Now I'm crawling into bed, watching a show or two and falling asleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day, I guess it probably will, I'm pretty happy. Have some fun out there, flabbergast someone, it can be very annoying you know. Hugzes.
The post office.
This is an easy one, there's lots of people milling about, everyone with the same look of "what am I doing here again, why is this place so crowded, and how can I find some excuse, any excuse, to get the hell out of here and come back later, when, in my imagenation, there will be less people presant?" Hah. Never going to happen, the post office is a horrible place to be even if it's empty, the less customers, the less people handeling the customers. If you're alone in the post office I would not be surprised that you are totally alone, no cashier, no clerks, just you, milling about on your own, trying to remember why you are there in the first place. And thats another thing, you know how it is, you always wait until you really have to go to the postoffice, and then you have severale things to do there. Stamps, mailing stuff, buying envolopes, trying to get travellerschecks(you're crazy, get a visa, soon as possible), and maybe actually send a letter. Who does that anymore? I mean, you have the boxes, even if you're of the lonely bunch not mailing over the web. But still, you're there, the people around you look scared and tired, everyone is (I'm assuming now, I know) sober, and forced to do that akward social ritual, consisting of avoiding eyecontact and bumping into other people. And that's if you have the nuber system, god forbid you have to get in line, then there's that magical twenty centimeter clearing between people rule to remember, and the fact that the person behind you always seem not to have picked up on this. Fun. Also the service sometimes is really frightening, it's like they hate you, probably because you have the option of leaving, and they don't.
The bank.
This is a horrible one, the only people whom enjoy going to the bank are the ones who laugh all the way there, and nicely said, I'm not one of them. Statistically speaking, neighter are you.
So when we are going to the bank, we're not happy campers. Today going to the bank usually involves that somethong has gone wrong, we pay our bills on line(thank you so very much for that), and try to keep it simple. But then something go wrong, or you need a lone, horrible as that may be, and you have to go to the bank. And you know that they know everything about you, these people can see how you spend your money, and that's usually a not all that pleasing feeling. And of course there's that pesky social situation, much like the postal office.
Inside a car, with the wrong company.
Yes, this one sounds strange dosen't it? Well, try to be in the backseat of a car, having the joy of observing the couple in the front arguing hotly. Screaming at each other, while spicing it up with those charming, very personal, and often quite surprising, insults. Fun! Who knew... Then of course, you could find yourself beeing involved in a carargument, this is even worse, you can't leave, there's just nowhere to go, no possibility of escape. Well, besides from actually throwing yourself out of a moving veacle, not recomendable, dangerous, and in some cases, more painful than staying in the car. There's also that nice moment when you discover that the driver is paying far more attention to the argument than the road, ones position on it, other cars and unfortunate people. Sounds like a good enough reason to take the bus, or does'nt it...?
The bus!
Yes, the bus is a scary place, it's also a good place to observe some human behavioralpatterns.
For instance, did you know that right handed people have a tendency of sitting on the left side of the bus? This is why the left side of the bus fills up first, until a certain event accurs, this event is known as the "oh no, I'm not sitting next to someone" event. Every seat of a norwegian bus(if everyone on the bus are strangers to each other) sports one person(even the "deathseats", ajoining the doors), until this has happend, no one is sitting next to each other. If there is one empty double seat, that's where you are going, you might have shoppingbags, packages, anything, you're still going towards that empty seat all the way in the back. We like our space. But then there's the creepy times when you have to sit next to someone, and we have all had the "please don't be a crazy person, please don't talk to me, please just sit as far away as possible and leave me alone" moment. The "thank god I have an Ipod and a magazine, haha, I'm cut off from the world" moment. Such a beautiful thing. And that's just if everything is normal, you have all those scary things also. Like the perfect stranger that, for no reason what so ever, sits down next to you in an almost empty bus. Now that's creepy. And you are staring out the window, knowing that this person is sitting next to you, and that there's a really big chance it's going to want to talk to you. Or mumle angrily to itself, wich is no less frightening. This is when you do that quickreasoning thing "it's not that far, I could do the pingthingy, walk the rest of the way, I'll be late, but hey, it's worth it, better than staying here, confronted with clearly crazy stranger."
Ping! Because that's just how scared we are of eachother and the unknown.
Miramuffin says: Yes, it's a pointless exercice in my strange form of humor, but hey, I need to write, and this is a form of practice. Now I'm crawling into bed, watching a show or two and falling asleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day, I guess it probably will, I'm pretty happy. Have some fun out there, flabbergast someone, it can be very annoying you know. Hugzes.
posted by Miramuffin at 9:45 PM
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