Ponderings over anonymity
Anonymity, the word itself should trigger a few associations in your mind. For some it's frightening, and I don't really understand you people in any real way, I can say all those clichethings about "the need to be seen and awknowleged, the need to feel that one matters", all that stuff. But if you're not getting these needs met in your normal life, what makes you think it will get better if you get famous? Yes, some of might say im jumping subjects here, I'm not, fame is the direct oposite of anonymity, fame is the sacrifice of anonymity in exchange for, well, some form of recognition I guess, oh yes, and cash of course. Fame without money is usually all the wrong kinds of fame, the serialmurderer, serious crime, freakshow fame. Almost no one wants that(at least I hope so, I do, after all have some faith in mankind), no, if one is giving up anonymity, some reward is to be expected. Well, I guess quite a few of the millions of wannabees out there really never see their anonymity as having any value to begin with, this is the part I don't get.
Ok, here's where the problem lies on my part, have you ever had a serious nervous hangover? Most of you know what I'm talking about her, the kind of nerves that creep up on you and tries(often with great success) to cripple you socially. I think "People are strange" by The Doors gives a pretty good idea about it(yes, it's probably about drugs, but that dosen't mean it's not a good, if possibly accidental, description of a nervous hangover). You feel as if everyone is watching you, you feel they are all judging you, you feel that they think they know things... Scary. Now, my idea of fame consists of this, every single time you leave the house. Every single day. Why would anybody sane ever want this? I just don't get it, I think I never will, the ting about anonymity(aspeccially in a small country like Norway) is that when it's gone it's gone, and it's not coming back anytime soon. Beeing "of public interest" has on my mind a startling resemblence to "beeing in hell", and who want's that? Stalker is one of those hot "new" phenomenones, and in becoming really famous you kinda allow the entire world to take on a role as your stalker.
I belive a lot of people regrets becoming famous, not all of course, not by a long shot, a lot of people just enjoy the feeling of beeing "loved by all", and that's another thing I don't get, because I just can't for the life of me see the "love" aspect of the whole thing. Maybe I just don't know anything about love, but in my mind it involves such things as someone actually knowing you, seeing you as who you are and apricciating you anyway, good sides and bad. Not someone you have never met mastrubating to a poster of you...
But that's just me I guess, it sure seems that way nowadays, suddenly everyone is dying to be famous, look at the "idol" shows for one. Sure, some of the cute kids can actually sing, but I would think about ninety percent of them are there with one thing in mind. "I want to be on tv". When exacly did this become the litany of every generation after mine? I mean, we were far from perfect, we had this whole "I don't give a fuck" attitude that probably alienated our elders seriously, that whole "let the motherfucker burn" thingy probably wasn't cute, but at least we almost had an opinion, glum as it might have been. All that has changed now, it's not "I don't give a fuck" anymore, it's "I do give a fuck. About myself that is." It's like we have whole generations screaming "look at me look at me look at me!" on the top of their lungs, each louder than the next. And the only question I feel like asking is "Why?"
I'm not expecting an answer to that one any day soon.
Back on cue, there's another aspect of anonymity I have been pondering on lately, and this is where it gets a little meta(sorry about that one, but hey, once a geek always a geek...). I am writing this blog anonymously, between writing under an alias and the picture that dosen't say much, identificationally(my word, I know) speaking, I'm anonymous, and I like the feeling, the strange thing is that it allows me to be a lot more personal than I would have expected. Which recently became a bit of an issue for me.
Here's the actual reason for me pondering over anonymity slightly more than usual(I really do have a hang up on it), I'm dating theese days, someone I think is kinda great, someone whom makes me laugh and feel happy. It's a little scary in the usual grown up way, everyone is afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone, but you just have to push trough all that, and see all the good things. I have written about this stuff before, and therein lies the issue at hand. My... oh why can't anything be simple. Fine, I'll just keep calling him lawyerboy, I like it, it's catchy and I find it to be sweet, maybe not exacly superheroish but I never wanted a superhero in my life, a wanted someone curious, smart and funny, whom gets the intro of "At the bottom of everything" by Bright Eyes". I digress. Means I'm nervous, I'll admit to that. I'm nervous because lawyerboy is going to read my blog, and that's a small ending in the anonymity chapter. Suddenly someone knows who I am, of course I have friends whom know, but they have known me for a longer stretch of time. This is someone I have met after I started writing, my blog is older than the relation.
The bit that makes me nervous is that I have a tendecy to use my darker sides in theese writings, this is my cocky and slightly bitchy side, let loose, and spiced up with hints of my strange humor and imagination. And sometimes with a hint of sadness. Who wouldn't be a little nervous? And ironically I have just ended up beeing really personal again, once again, sometimes writing is far more complicated than I care for it to be...
Miramuffin says: It's one of those days again, when I'm not really that constructive and end up writing anyway, because I like it, and because the practice will always come in handy. Later I will write a rewiew of Snakes on a Plane, that will be a bowl of fun I think, laughing a little just thinking about it. So what's my words to you today... I guess I could say that you should never take anything for granted, nor accept the world as it is blindly and willingly. Mess up your language, verbe some words, it's fun and you can really personalize the way you speak that way. And if no one is annoyed, well, then you're not doing it right, or you are hanging with people you will be smart to take good care of. Have a great day out there;)
Ok, here's where the problem lies on my part, have you ever had a serious nervous hangover? Most of you know what I'm talking about her, the kind of nerves that creep up on you and tries(often with great success) to cripple you socially. I think "People are strange" by The Doors gives a pretty good idea about it(yes, it's probably about drugs, but that dosen't mean it's not a good, if possibly accidental, description of a nervous hangover). You feel as if everyone is watching you, you feel they are all judging you, you feel that they think they know things... Scary. Now, my idea of fame consists of this, every single time you leave the house. Every single day. Why would anybody sane ever want this? I just don't get it, I think I never will, the ting about anonymity(aspeccially in a small country like Norway) is that when it's gone it's gone, and it's not coming back anytime soon. Beeing "of public interest" has on my mind a startling resemblence to "beeing in hell", and who want's that? Stalker is one of those hot "new" phenomenones, and in becoming really famous you kinda allow the entire world to take on a role as your stalker.
I belive a lot of people regrets becoming famous, not all of course, not by a long shot, a lot of people just enjoy the feeling of beeing "loved by all", and that's another thing I don't get, because I just can't for the life of me see the "love" aspect of the whole thing. Maybe I just don't know anything about love, but in my mind it involves such things as someone actually knowing you, seeing you as who you are and apricciating you anyway, good sides and bad. Not someone you have never met mastrubating to a poster of you...
But that's just me I guess, it sure seems that way nowadays, suddenly everyone is dying to be famous, look at the "idol" shows for one. Sure, some of the cute kids can actually sing, but I would think about ninety percent of them are there with one thing in mind. "I want to be on tv". When exacly did this become the litany of every generation after mine? I mean, we were far from perfect, we had this whole "I don't give a fuck" attitude that probably alienated our elders seriously, that whole "let the motherfucker burn" thingy probably wasn't cute, but at least we almost had an opinion, glum as it might have been. All that has changed now, it's not "I don't give a fuck" anymore, it's "I do give a fuck. About myself that is." It's like we have whole generations screaming "look at me look at me look at me!" on the top of their lungs, each louder than the next. And the only question I feel like asking is "Why?"
I'm not expecting an answer to that one any day soon.
Back on cue, there's another aspect of anonymity I have been pondering on lately, and this is where it gets a little meta(sorry about that one, but hey, once a geek always a geek...). I am writing this blog anonymously, between writing under an alias and the picture that dosen't say much, identificationally(my word, I know) speaking, I'm anonymous, and I like the feeling, the strange thing is that it allows me to be a lot more personal than I would have expected. Which recently became a bit of an issue for me.
Here's the actual reason for me pondering over anonymity slightly more than usual(I really do have a hang up on it), I'm dating theese days, someone I think is kinda great, someone whom makes me laugh and feel happy. It's a little scary in the usual grown up way, everyone is afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone, but you just have to push trough all that, and see all the good things. I have written about this stuff before, and therein lies the issue at hand. My... oh why can't anything be simple. Fine, I'll just keep calling him lawyerboy, I like it, it's catchy and I find it to be sweet, maybe not exacly superheroish but I never wanted a superhero in my life, a wanted someone curious, smart and funny, whom gets the intro of "At the bottom of everything" by Bright Eyes". I digress. Means I'm nervous, I'll admit to that. I'm nervous because lawyerboy is going to read my blog, and that's a small ending in the anonymity chapter. Suddenly someone knows who I am, of course I have friends whom know, but they have known me for a longer stretch of time. This is someone I have met after I started writing, my blog is older than the relation.
The bit that makes me nervous is that I have a tendecy to use my darker sides in theese writings, this is my cocky and slightly bitchy side, let loose, and spiced up with hints of my strange humor and imagination. And sometimes with a hint of sadness. Who wouldn't be a little nervous? And ironically I have just ended up beeing really personal again, once again, sometimes writing is far more complicated than I care for it to be...
Miramuffin says: It's one of those days again, when I'm not really that constructive and end up writing anyway, because I like it, and because the practice will always come in handy. Later I will write a rewiew of Snakes on a Plane, that will be a bowl of fun I think, laughing a little just thinking about it. So what's my words to you today... I guess I could say that you should never take anything for granted, nor accept the world as it is blindly and willingly. Mess up your language, verbe some words, it's fun and you can really personalize the way you speak that way. And if no one is annoyed, well, then you're not doing it right, or you are hanging with people you will be smart to take good care of. Have a great day out there;)
posted by Miramuffin at 10:49 AM
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