Drinking, the eleven step guide
Yes, most of us have been there. The stage where you have gone above and beyond your tolerance level of alchol, and the evening takes what is widely known as a scary turn. So how do one prevent this from happening. It's not hard really, it might take some time getting it all right, but with a little practice your life on the town can be fun, crazy and reasonable safe, all at the same time. So here we go.
1: Know your limits, this I can not stress enough. If whiskey makes you black out, don't drink it when you'r out and about. If you are new to the game, some practice at home with friends is recomended. If at a vorspiel, you will be wise to remember that you are going out, alcohol will be available where you are going, so don't down that final beer you know you could do without. This also takes care of the potential problem with the big, steroidfuled guy at the door of the bar/club. This guy spends his nights waiting for that perfect drunken stranger to take out his feeling of insecurities on. In a very real, very physical way.
2: When entering the club or bar, don't flash your cash. This will annoy the people you shoud be hanging out with and attract the ones you dont want hanging around your car on a badly lit street. Also there are a lot of cute boys and girls out there whom get drunk mooching of people like you. Beware. Remember, sometimes it's nice to have people like you for you, not your platinumcard(as if).
3: Be polite, aspecially to the employees. Theese people can make or break your night, you want them to like you. Also remember that you are a customer, not a friend, and for fuck sake, don't confuse the bartender with your therapist. Also, beeing polite, or at least civil, can be a good little insurance against trouble of the violent kind. Don't cut in line and don't push people, remember, a drunk person can be very unpredictable. Tip, but in resonable way. And hitting on the employees is not recomended, remember these are sober people(in most cases anyway), at work.
4. When ordering at the bar there are several factors you must consider. How drunk are you? If you're not sure on this point, don't drink anything stronger than beer. I could tell you to order a soda but I doubt you will, so beer it is. If you're in good shape, feel free to chose something stronger, if there's a massive amount of people trying to get served, don't order something so insanely complex that both bartenders and the chef is needed to prepare it, this is rude and we hate people who does this(that guy is always in front of me at the bar, I swear). If your not sure what you want, don't ask "What's good here?" Give the bartender something to go on, mention drinks you like, or tastes.
5: Socializing! After all, thats what it's all about. Be friendly but don't be meek, if you are getting a form of attention you dont want, say so, but keep your voice level and calm, and don't get agitated. Getting angry or raising your voice a lot is a very good way of finding trouble, or getting thrown out. If you are hitting the dating/pick up scene it's aspecially important not to breach your tolerance level of alcohol. Neighter slurring nor stumbling around is very attractive. And please let your intentions be known to the person your hitting on, if your going for the easy fix and a onenighter, don't mislead. It's just easier on everybody this way.
6: Technology and drinking, or "a match made in hell". You have a cellphone, theese days evrybody does. And calling/texting while drunk is a common mistake that can get us all in trouble sometimes. Don't make life changing decisions while drinking, don't realize your last boyfriend/girlfriend was the love of your life and preceed to call them at four in the morning to tell them. Also, the guy/girl calling or texting you at four in the morning is not suddenly in love with you, just horny, desperate, lonely, or all the above. So do yourself a favour, dont pick up or answer, no good can come of this. Makeup sex dosen't quite have the same charm when one or more parties involved is wasted. And for the love of all that's right people, do not under any circumstances call someone you are angry with and yell at them. Or you might as well compose a very apologetic textmessage right now, for use on those sad and scary mornings after.
7: Don't binge just before closingtime. I know, it's tempting, easy mistake, but at least try to control the impuls. There will be another opportunity, the world will not be out of alcohol anytime soon. Also, don't fill your table with drinks just before closingtime, hanging around prolonging the poor employees night is not a popular move. If they are eyeing you with a hint of hatred while checking their watches, you need to leave.
8: Don't shot. Anything. Ever. I break this one all the time. If you feel you have to, no more than two per hour, let them do their thing before you order more. Listen to the name itself. Not something to be messed with. And in no way anything for the inexperienced among us.
9: Drinking is,as we all know, a social activety. And it's always smart to bring a friend(or more), someone you can talk to when the action in the bar is slow, so you don't end up sitting around heckling the bartender. Also, someone having you're back, always smart. Plus, for the aspiering pickup artists out there, a wingman/women is essential.
10: Make a plan. Upfront, before you hit the town, decide a budget, consider where you are going, not in a obsessiv compulsive way but, just think a little about what you want out of the experience. And if going out as a group, you are probably going to be separated during the night, try not to lose anybody.
11: If something goes wrong try to remain calm, no matter what. You get wasted; go home. You feel queezy, seek out a bathroom. They won't serve you? Go home. If any kind of violence shoud happen, get away from the situation. This is not beeing a pussy, this is saving you a whole lot of trouble, and possibly avoiding a wide variety of horryfying concequenses. Injury, death and jail are the some of the worst of them.
Have fun, stay safe, go wild, love life.
1: Know your limits, this I can not stress enough. If whiskey makes you black out, don't drink it when you'r out and about. If you are new to the game, some practice at home with friends is recomended. If at a vorspiel, you will be wise to remember that you are going out, alcohol will be available where you are going, so don't down that final beer you know you could do without. This also takes care of the potential problem with the big, steroidfuled guy at the door of the bar/club. This guy spends his nights waiting for that perfect drunken stranger to take out his feeling of insecurities on. In a very real, very physical way.
2: When entering the club or bar, don't flash your cash. This will annoy the people you shoud be hanging out with and attract the ones you dont want hanging around your car on a badly lit street. Also there are a lot of cute boys and girls out there whom get drunk mooching of people like you. Beware. Remember, sometimes it's nice to have people like you for you, not your platinumcard(as if).
3: Be polite, aspecially to the employees. Theese people can make or break your night, you want them to like you. Also remember that you are a customer, not a friend, and for fuck sake, don't confuse the bartender with your therapist. Also, beeing polite, or at least civil, can be a good little insurance against trouble of the violent kind. Don't cut in line and don't push people, remember, a drunk person can be very unpredictable. Tip, but in resonable way. And hitting on the employees is not recomended, remember these are sober people(in most cases anyway), at work.
4. When ordering at the bar there are several factors you must consider. How drunk are you? If you're not sure on this point, don't drink anything stronger than beer. I could tell you to order a soda but I doubt you will, so beer it is. If you're in good shape, feel free to chose something stronger, if there's a massive amount of people trying to get served, don't order something so insanely complex that both bartenders and the chef is needed to prepare it, this is rude and we hate people who does this(that guy is always in front of me at the bar, I swear). If your not sure what you want, don't ask "What's good here?" Give the bartender something to go on, mention drinks you like, or tastes.
5: Socializing! After all, thats what it's all about. Be friendly but don't be meek, if you are getting a form of attention you dont want, say so, but keep your voice level and calm, and don't get agitated. Getting angry or raising your voice a lot is a very good way of finding trouble, or getting thrown out. If you are hitting the dating/pick up scene it's aspecially important not to breach your tolerance level of alcohol. Neighter slurring nor stumbling around is very attractive. And please let your intentions be known to the person your hitting on, if your going for the easy fix and a onenighter, don't mislead. It's just easier on everybody this way.
6: Technology and drinking, or "a match made in hell". You have a cellphone, theese days evrybody does. And calling/texting while drunk is a common mistake that can get us all in trouble sometimes. Don't make life changing decisions while drinking, don't realize your last boyfriend/girlfriend was the love of your life and preceed to call them at four in the morning to tell them. Also, the guy/girl calling or texting you at four in the morning is not suddenly in love with you, just horny, desperate, lonely, or all the above. So do yourself a favour, dont pick up or answer, no good can come of this. Makeup sex dosen't quite have the same charm when one or more parties involved is wasted. And for the love of all that's right people, do not under any circumstances call someone you are angry with and yell at them. Or you might as well compose a very apologetic textmessage right now, for use on those sad and scary mornings after.
7: Don't binge just before closingtime. I know, it's tempting, easy mistake, but at least try to control the impuls. There will be another opportunity, the world will not be out of alcohol anytime soon. Also, don't fill your table with drinks just before closingtime, hanging around prolonging the poor employees night is not a popular move. If they are eyeing you with a hint of hatred while checking their watches, you need to leave.
8: Don't shot. Anything. Ever. I break this one all the time. If you feel you have to, no more than two per hour, let them do their thing before you order more. Listen to the name itself. Not something to be messed with. And in no way anything for the inexperienced among us.
9: Drinking is,as we all know, a social activety. And it's always smart to bring a friend(or more), someone you can talk to when the action in the bar is slow, so you don't end up sitting around heckling the bartender. Also, someone having you're back, always smart. Plus, for the aspiering pickup artists out there, a wingman/women is essential.
10: Make a plan. Upfront, before you hit the town, decide a budget, consider where you are going, not in a obsessiv compulsive way but, just think a little about what you want out of the experience. And if going out as a group, you are probably going to be separated during the night, try not to lose anybody.
11: If something goes wrong try to remain calm, no matter what. You get wasted; go home. You feel queezy, seek out a bathroom. They won't serve you? Go home. If any kind of violence shoud happen, get away from the situation. This is not beeing a pussy, this is saving you a whole lot of trouble, and possibly avoiding a wide variety of horryfying concequenses. Injury, death and jail are the some of the worst of them.
Have fun, stay safe, go wild, love life.
posted by Miramuffin at 11:52 AM
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